


i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black

by unsaved_joj



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Not Sure Why I Wrote This, inspired when i listened to heart-shaped box
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:04:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_joj/pseuds/unsaved_joj
Summary: Nirvana is echoing in the barren room, arid and full of something sad that can’t be placed.





	i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black

Nirvana is echoing in the barren room, arid and full of something sad that can’t be placed. Will clambered over the clothes scattered about, his ocd kicking in a bit. Things weren’t this bad last time he visited. Alex didn’t look alright, either. His blue eyes were far away, looking to something Will couldn’t see. Will frowned, jaw set. He didn’t even know if Alex knew he was in the room.   
“I feel empty.” Alex let it hang, Kurt Cobain’s voice following close behind, ragged and hopeless. A lot like Alex, actually. Will nodded, taking a seat on the bed beside Alex, who was splayed out in only his pink hoodie and boxers. He could see a cigarette pack on the floor beside his trainers, which he nudged aside.   
“There’s just...nothing. It’s blank.” Alex continued, palms now digging into his eyes, trying to relieve that constant headache he’d had for the past few weeks. 

Will could clearly see that Alex was worn out. Lost. His inspiration had gone away as soon as the year had started. Will wanted to comfort him-even if he never showed it and it was considered homo, he was loving by nature-but wasn’t sure if Alex wanted to be touched. Will just stared at his shoes and listened to Heart-Shaped Box play in the white-walled room. He was here to listen. Will hadn’t even texted Alex he was coming over. He just showed up, parents ushering him in and hoping he could fix something. They obviously couldn’t.   
Alex didn’t seem bothered. Just...there. Going through the motions. Will waited for him to speak, get some shit out, even if Alex wasn’t the most poetic. But, instead, there was silence.

Will heard the bed creak for a moment and felt arms around his neck. A soft chokehold, if you will. He could feel Alex’s body against him, chest on his back, head resting on his neck. Will put a hand up to touch Alex’s wrist, gentle at first. Alex slid his fingers into Will’s, slowly, cautious. Will took them carefully, so slender that they might break. Alex was fragile anyway. He felt Alex’s breath on his neck, shuddering and soft, and Will had the desperate feeling in his chest that he needed to fix things. To fix Alex.   
He wanted to speak, to say anything helpful, but wasn’t sure if talking was the right thing at the moment.   
“I’m sorry I never responded to anything. I’ve been a fucking nonce. I just don’t know when I need help, is all.” Alex spoke against Will’s neck, voice wavering. His breath was cold and it sent shivers up Will’s spine.  
“It’s okay, Alex. I’m here now. That’s what matters.” He gave Alex’s hand a squeeze, not too hard, not too soft. His hands were cold, and all Will wanted was to warm them. To warm him.

Will brought Alex’s hand up with both of his, close to his mouth, blowing on the skin gently. Alex jolted slightly behind him but didn’t pull away.  
“Thanks.” Alex mumbled, closing his eyes. Will would blow for a few seconds, change his spot, and repeat the process, hoping it would make a difference. Alex curled tighter around Will, moving his legs to wrap around Will’s waist, craving the warmth. He was drowsy, the back of his mind knowing that sleep wouldn’t help him, but this was comfortable.   
“You tired?” Will asked, taking a break to speak before pressing his lips to Alex’s knuckles, spreading the warm breath. Alex nodded.  
“Mm hm.” He hummed, barely audible. 

All Apologies began playing as the previous song ended, the guitar soothing. Alex couldn’t keep sleep at bay again. Will could tell he was resting, breathing slower than before, the grip on him weaker. Will didn’t want to move, to disturb him just as he’d fallen asleep, but he also didn’t want him to sleep in this uncomfortable position. Will wasn’t sure how to maneuver himself either. He sat, thinking, listening to the lyrics of the song and Alex’s faint breathing. He twitched often in his sleep. Will knew because he’d spent nights in the same bed with him, sharing because the couch was too damn rough. Will had trouble sleeping sometimes, and in the dark of the room, he couldn’t help but watch: Alex’s face smushed into the pillow, fingers grasping at the air, sharp shoulder blades twitching. It sounded creepy, and he felt it was wrong, but it sometimes lulled him to sleep, making sure Alex was safe and resting.

He could feel Alex’s fingers suddenly grasp his hand tightly, almost crushing it, which seemed impossible since Alex was so skinny. Will moved his head slightly, trying to get a look at Alex’s face, but it was hidden in his neck. His fingers grasped again, tightly, his breath uneven.  
“Al-“ Will’s voice was cut short when Alex snapped awake, taking in a sharp breath. Will turned to look at him, the two locking blue eyes, Alex panting a bit.   
“Nightmare?” Will asked, his hands squeezing one of Alex’s as his grip relaxed.   
“Yeah. Been havin’ em all week.” He looked away, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Will’s pity for Alex was immense.  
“Here- lay down.” He moved, turning to face Alex and cocking his head toward the bed. “I’m making sure you get sleep.” Alex smiled a little and crawled over, pulling a small blanket over himself. 

Will climbed in and laid down next to him, propping himself up on an elbow. Alex was quiet, staring down at his sleeve-covered hands, eyes glassy. Will swallowed, looking at him for a moment before he moved, grabbing Alex’s hand again. He gave it a chaste kiss on the knuckles, earning a tiny blush from Alex.   
“Sleep. Please. I think you need it, mate.” Will said, a pleading look in his eyes.  
“I don’t wanna wake up from a fuckin’ night terror again.” Alex mumbled. Will nodded.  
“I know. I’m here, though, if you do. You’re safe.” He kissed his hand again, and that managed to convince him. Alex sighed and adjusted himself for before closing his eyes.

A second later, he opened them with a smile on his face.   
“Don’t stare at me while I sleep, you nonce.” Alex joked, closing his eyes again. Will smirked. He couldn’t help himself. Alex stayed still for a moment before scooting forward, until his head was beneath Will’s chin. Will smiled a little and moved his free arm to Alex’s neck, hand climbing to stroke his hair. Alex hummed before finally relaxing. Seeing Alex safe was good enough for Will, who drifted off with him. Later on, when they both woke, he’d complain how the position he was in gave him a sore wrist and Alex would laugh at him, bringing back some sort of normalcy. Just what Alex needed.

**Author's Note:**

> hope y’all enjoyed!


End file.
